DADS READ: "Who Has What" by author Robie H. Harris and illustrator Nadine Bernard Westcott

Being a parent involves setting societal and cultural norms for your children.  When and where is it appropriate to eat, when and where is it appropriate to use electronic devices, when and where is it appropriate to sleep, when and where is it appropriate to urinate and defecate, etc.  That last one has an instructive, humorous story.

One of my nephews had been on a long road trip to California, and something many people can relate to on long road trips, this nephew needed to urinate, but there wasn't an exit, a gas station, or any bathroom for miles in either direction.  His parents tried to explain to this nephew that in this circumstance, it was okay to urinate outdoors, on the side of the road, because there isn't any other alternative.  Great, no problem, many people have experienced needing to urinate outdoors when camping, traveling, or otherwise in a pinch.  Fast forward to after their road trip is over, they jad made it to Carlsbad, California, and we were all in LEGOLAND together.  All the kids, parents, and grandparents were enjoying the Mini Land section of LEGOLAND - where cities are recreated in LEGO bricks with great precision.

Everyone was laughing and finding their favorite lifelike LEGO depiction, when this nephew realizes he needs to urinate, and based on his prior instruction, he "knew" it was sometimes okay to urinate on the side of the road, but he failed to capture the nuance between a lonely desert highway "road", and a "LEGO road" inside LEGOLAND's Mini Land.

Needless to say, the LEGO figures in Miniland had an authentic New York City experience that I could relate to from living in Hong Kong, because not "all liquid" that falls from the sky in New York City, Hong Kong, or any other big city is "rain".

As a parent, I struggled to know how I should discuss these norms, these body parts, and human biology to my daughters.  Luckily, my spouse, Mallory found a great solution after a lot of research: the book "Who Has What" by author Robie H. Harris and illustrator Nadine Bernard Westcott does an amazing job normalizing human bodies and normalizing reproductive organs by drawing comparisons between male and female bodies and male and female canine bodies.


The two main characters, Nellie and Gus, are in a lot of Robie Harris' books on a variety of educational topics like Diversity, Nutrition, Birth/Pregnancy, Families, etc.  All of these are really great, but "Who Has What" is my favorite.  I love how it breaks down human biology in a very factual, understandable way for kids.

It begins by identifying all of the things that bodies can do.  Both male and female bodies can do things like run, catch, play, and that we can all use our bodies to pursue our different interests.

It compares all of the body parts male and female bodies share in common, and helps identify those same body parts on other mammals, like dogs.

I like how it simply identifies the parts, and helps destigmatize human bodies.

After identifying similarities, it goes into what outer parts are different, like genitalia, by using anatomically correct terms, while explaining it in terms that a child can understand: "opening where pee comes out" and "opening where poop comes out".

By adding another mammal for comparison, it helps show that bodies are natural, and helps identify our close relationship as members of a broader animal kingdom.

It also helps identify the internal organs, like internal reproductive organs, that differentiate males from females.

Lake recently opined that because she has this book, she doesn't need to wonder what boys bodies are like, she remarked "I can just look at my bodies book when I want to look at penises", haha.

I think having a very factual, impassive conversation about bodies could help reduce any unnecessary guilt and shame associated with our natural bodies, and can help us better understand the tricky concept of "consent".  We all have bodies that are similar in many ways, and unique in many ways.  We get to decide how that body feels and how we represent ourselves, while also being mindful of the impact our behavior and decisions can have on society around us.  Knowing about the human body allows a person to express when, where, and how they like to be touched.

There is no BODY exactly like yours, most of our bodies are constantly regenerating themselves, and becoming something new:

>"It turns out that each body part has its own very distinct lifespan. The lining of the stomach, constantly under assault by digestive acid, is renewed every few days. But bones are refreshed once a decade. And there are a few parts of you that stay with you from birth to death."

There is no body that has gone through the same environmental conditions, the same physical activities, eaten the same food, visited the same places, lived in the same locations, and felt all of the same emotions that you have.  The more I learn about bodies, the more fascinated I am.